I’m currently in Toronto on business and took some time last night to wander the village.
As per usual it was all a buzz with action, people and the like. I like to get away and immerse myself in the hustle and bustle of a bigger city now and then, the energy can beintoxicating, while at the same time it makes me thankful for the quiet relaxed pace at home.
I took some time to browse through the massive Indigo store in Eaton Centre. Their children’s section is incredible… HUGE. I found a number of books that I’ve written down for when our baby arrives. They were children’s books that are reflective of what our family will be like. I think that it is important to have these as a jumping point to address questions and normalize to an extent what it means to have two Dad’s.
That being said, what I don’t like about these books is that each one of them has the same message. “Some people have 1 Mom, some people have two, some have 1 Dad and others have two”. Good message, but I want books that just happen to have two Dad’s and not always trying to drive home the same message at nauseum.
This has inspired me that maybe I need to write a few children’s books, if anything just so I can have them for our child. Hmmm.. I either have to take an art class or find myself an illustrator.
After leaving the book store, I walked further along and made my way along Church street. The air was thick with humidity and people were making their way into the bars and patios. I reflected back on the time in my life where that is exactly where I would have been going on a night like this. My priorities have changed and I find myself becoming consumed with the thought of becoming a Dad. My mind was drifting to thoughts of our future baby and our life together, I was making mental lists of things we can do, trips to take as a family… really I was all over the map. Just ahead of me I saw a stroller coming off a side street. I’m more aware of these now a days. I see a stroller and I note the model, type and functionality. Then I noticed the couple pushing the stroller were two Dad’s.
I’m not sure whether to blame it on my being tired, the heat or where my mind set was, but I felt a wave of emotion creeping up on me. I could feel the tightening of my chest, the flush in my cheeks and then the tears. Why was I crying? I’ve seen couples out with their babies a million times, and it has never reduced me to tears. Was it that I was better able to visualize my future? I’m not sure what it was, but thank goodness for large dark sunglasses or people would have noticed. I decided to sit under a nearby tree and regroup. I’ll blame my lapse in emotional control on the heat, or maybe… something was just in my eye. I saw my future, and it was beautiful.