For the last 6 months I have been so focused on working through the check list of items that we needed to complete in order to reach the point of approval. At Adoption Options they refer to it as “in the box”. This essentially means you are a waiting family, and your profile is literally in a box waiting for a double match and to be selected by birth parents.
We are in a limbo period right now. We have completed our home study, medical reports, criminal record checks, education session, and our letters, references and photo packets are now all complete. Currently our social worker is writing her report about our home study, and making recommendations and observations. Once that is submitted, barring any issues we will officially be approved and considered a waiting family. It has been pretty quick actually, if you think that we first started this process in February with our first info session.
We are on the edge of the box right now… just a couple more weeks hopefully. Then the true wait begins.
It is a strange feeling right now though, no further tasks to complete or next steps to focus on. It is like we are now just releasing that balloon into the universe, hoping it lands at the door step of our birth parents.
I find myself kind of feeling like “Now what?”. There is nothing I can do to move the process along, not a lot I can do to find our match and no more steps for us to complete. The other night I literally googled, “What to do while waiting for your adoption match”. I quickly realized I was not the only one that was feeling the same way.
The themes and advice on all of the posts are very similar:
- Believe in the process, because it does work! No one can say what the journey will look like, but they do all say that you will become a parent.
- Do not put your life on hold! Book that trip, take that vacation. (Let your agency know, so that they can reach you!)
- Take workshops, read books on adoption, go out to dinner and talk to with other adoptive parents.
- Contact your adoption agency, meet with your case worker, and/or attend waiting support groups.
- Nurture yourself and slow down a little. Take a walk, meditate just five minutes a day, enroll in that yoga class. You will never regret that weekend away with your family and friends. Do your best to relax and continue to live a full, rich life and believe that the birth parents and baby will find you when it is meant to happen.
Good advice, but the trick will be putting it into practice!
R and I are registered to start attending a waiting families adoption group in September. This is a new group started at Adoption Options. We’ll see how that goes.
This summer we have been spending a lot of time at the lake, relaxing with friends.. and R even took the entire month of August off work. I think he has the nurture yourself and slow down concept mastered.
Here are some of my plans while we wait..
- Lose weight. Become more active and run more. I’ve been thinking about a winter activity, so I may buy some cross-country skis.
- Upgrade my CPR (and get R certified) to include infant and children.
- Blog more often.
- Try new things. This summer I attended two Paint Nites, and also tried stand up paddle boarding for the first time.
In the mean time, we will just trust in the process and focus on relaxing and getting in some final “me” time, before our baby arrives.