It is hard to believe that we have arrived at the 6 month point since our approval for adoption placement; and nearly a year since we attended our first information session to begin our journey.
I’ll admit that once I came to this realization, I was disappointed. I really believed that we would be one of those 2 month wait before we are matched kind of couples. That being said, in the grand scheme of things there are others that have been waiting much longer.
Truthfully the time has flown by. In the initial months I was a little obsessive compulsive checking my emails and thinking continuously about the prospect of a placement. Then as I settled in, I started to realize that the best thing I could do would be to focus on myself and my relationship with R. I’ve heard time and time again that everything changes once you have a child, and you will miss the “me” time and the couple time that you once had. In theory I understand this, but at the same time when you want to be a parent so badly… it is well worth it.
The last few months R and I have been working on improving our fitness.
We have really focused on what we are eating, and I have started up running again on a regular basis (I’ve had a bit of a reprieve as I have been recovering from surgery). The best part is that we are feeling great and seeing results! We’ll be in tip top shape for our future baby in no time!
The other thing that we did in this month was to go away for a hot vacation. I know this is a regular thing for most, but for R and I it was the first time we have done this in the 12 years we have been together. Why you ask? We have dogs, that we are very protective of and so because of our commitment to them we had adjusted our vacationing so that they can be included. Our summers consist of camping mostly and stay-cations. This year we chose to go to Palm Springs, CA. It was an amazing recharge of our batteries, and a recharge on our relationship.
We spent terrific quality time together, started every morning with a long walk or we incorporated a hike later in the day. It felt good to keep active, soak up some sun and just enjoy being together.
It reminded me of the importance of taking time to recharge. I think that is what our time waiting for our placement is all about, keeping connected and maintaining our identity as a couple. It could be an easy trap for people to fall into… becoming that couple that is “waiting”. I’ve noticed that now that we are six months in and have many activities on the go, the first question people ask is no longer, “Have you heard anything yet?”. I think it is because I’m not wearing the wait on my face any longer, and I also think it is because it is not my sole topic of conversation.
I am o.k with that. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be a Father any less desperately than I did before, it just means that I am taking the time to fill my cup and my soul so that when the time comes we will be the best parents we can be. This is because we have taken the time to enrich ourselves so that we can enrich the life of our child.
My take away so far this year, is to take the time to nourish myself, my soul and nourish my relationship.