“At the end of the day you’re another day older…”- Les Miserable.
It is a song that I usually save for completing housework, but today it made me think about the concept of age and parenting.
When we entered our adoption journey, one of the topics that was addressed in our education session was the idea of revisiting the notion of moving forward. Meaning at each annual renewal, we would review our file, see how many views we had, make any changes we felt appropriate and move forward. The alternative would be to decide to close our file and no longer proceed.
Thinking about this today, it made me start to ponder the notion of at which age will we be “too old” to start a family? Is there a true age, or is it a milestone that we as a couple have to determine.
There are a number of factors that need to be taken into consideration.
You begin to do actuarial mathematical equations that involve assessing your wellness level, stamina and then also calculating your own age at various milestones in your child’s life.
Do you you want to be 65 at their high school graduation? Do you want to be 50 and walking them in to their first day of kindergarten, potentially being mistaken for their grandparent? Will you be able to dance at their wedding without being propped up ? All valid questions.
I googled the question, and found a number of different responses. Most of which dealt mostly with the “ability to conceive” or “viability of your sperm past a certain again”. There were also an incredible number of articles and blogs that celebrated or alternatively criticize older celebrity fathers.
I did find a brief article by Ann Brenoff of The Huffington Post. It was a good reminder that everyone’s situation is different and that it will have to be the right age and right decision for R and I.
My favorite quote from the article;
“Not everybody is ready to parent at 25 or 30. Not everybody should even be a parent — or wants to. And then there are those of us who wanted to create and grow our families by whatever options we had available. You may check your two-cents at the door.”
I guess we’ll know when the time is correct for us, because “at the end of the day you’re another day older”.