An interesting phenomenon is starting to happen. I’ve noticed that as people are either making their pregnancy announcements or introducing their new baby… I am getting a look.
The look is almost apologetic in nature, or as if to say.. “this must be hard for you, given you are waiting and all”. Others seem to be waiting for a dramatic flood of tears as I flop myself down and wail “When’s it my turn? Where is my baby?”. It won’t happen. I’m not Susan Lucci.
It is absolutely hard to hear when others are adding to their family. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have some version of the “When is it my turn?” thought. It doesn’t take away, however, from the joy I get seeing others so happy.
In an ideal world someone would step forward and say, “hey I’ll carry your baby for you”. Just think how much easier that would be than constantly worrying that I’ll miss a call, or checking my phone because I swear I felt it vibrate.
Pregnancy announcements and new babies are amazing. I can handle it. I can feel happy for you. I have not hit the tantrum phase yet, and I will not grab your baby and run. lol.
You just have to surrender to the universe, put out the good thoughts and know that the baby you are meant to love is possibly being created at this very moment. It could be anytime, it could be in six years.
I also have to realize it may also not happen. Whatever the scenario, R and I have a happy life. Being parents would just add to that happiness. Our relationship is not dependent on whether or not we have a child. We have built a strong foundation of nearly 13 years together. That foundation gives us the strength to wait.
For others, the frustration of trying to conceive or work through the adoption process can add a lot of stress to the relationship.. not everyone has the foundation we do to weather the storm.
We are good. You can tell me if you are expecting… I can handle it.
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Hi, I completely understand where you are coming from with the look!! It is something I get all the time from people. My own brother in law told my husband there news so he could tell me so that it didn’t upset me which is sweet of them but it’s still my neice or nephew so I want the chance to be excited for them.
As for the when is it my turn feeling it’s something I also feel too. Especially like you say when people are adding to their brood and I haven’t even started yet.
I really admire what you have said about your relationship giving you the strength to wait and being built on strong foundations that’s a really lovely thing to hear 🙂
I definitely love the last line…it’s something I may have to steal in future to tell people! I look forward to reading more from you and I have my fingers tightly crossed you hear news soon xxx
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Thanks so much! It is comforting to know that I’m not alone in receiving “the look”. It is funny how people start to treat you like fine china or a broken baby bird when you are going through the process of starting your family and it isn’t happening yet. I think I’m going to make a t-shirt that says.. You can tell me you are having a baby.. I can handle it.
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You are definitely not alone!! It is weird I agree, I think people worry that you might suddenly burst into tears or something if they do say anything. Haha I love this idea! You should definitely do that! X
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